“Krokodeel… Krokodeel…” yelled Amminie as she came running into the drawing room where I was sipping ma cuppa coffee & peacefully reading my newspaper. She jumped right on the sofa & stayed close to me. My little butterfly looked more like a pupa wrapped in a peach green turkey towel. I kept the newspaper aside & held her close by wrapping my arms around her. I ran my fingers through her curly hair which seemed all tangled & messy.

“Didn’t you ask mamma to wash your hair?” I asked.

“No, Amminie told mamma I’ll do it myself” She replied.

“Then why didn’t you sweetoo?”

“Because… I didn’t…”

“Why not baba? Are you waiting for Papa to finish reading the newspaper & hop in when he needs to use the bathroom?”

Amminie probably didn’t like that. Coz she didn’t say anything except pout.

“What’s it Jaanu?” I asked brushing aside the hair falling on her face. “Hmm?”

“There is a Krokodeel in the bathroom” She replied in an unusually meek voice.

“A WHAT?????” I exclaimed.

“A Krokodeel…”

“You mean… A Crocodile?”

A tiny drop of tear rolled down her chubby cheeks as she nodded to my question.

A crocodile in my bathroom? How on earth was that possible, I thought.

My apartment faces the sea but as far as I know there aren’t any crocs in the sea… none that I know of! And if there are any out there it has to be a mutant crocodile with wings to be able to fly into the bathroom of an apartment on the 7th floor.

But just to be sure I decided to ask Amminie.

“How do you know it’s a crocodile anyway?”

“It makes a Fizzzzzzzzzt Fizzzzzzzzzt sound” she quickly retorted.

“Eeeeeeew! You are spitting on me you little pumpkin…”

“But that’s the sound that it made when I opened the tap!”

“The tap?”

“Ya”

“So… your crocodile is sitting inside the tap?”

“Hmmmm…. Ya”

I almost gave out a chuckle but couldn’t help wonder how far fetched my angel’s imagination went. It sure must’ve been something she saw on TV [I gotta be extra careful what I watch on TV while the kiddo is sneaking around the room] that made her conclude that anything that gave out a fizzzzttt sound was a crocodile… Or errr… a Krokodeel.

Fortunately, I knew almost instantly what the real issue was. The tap was partially blocked probably because it’s the rainy season & something must’ve come through from the water tank. Maybe a leaf or a twig or something that got disintegrated & was small enough to pass through the tank to the pipeline but not small enough to pass through the tap.

I could’ve easily told her it was no crocodile & she needn’t bother me with such trivial stuff. Maybe I could’ve explained the whole process of leaves & weak thin branches getting blown by the wind into the tank & getting ‘disintegrated’ & water getting slightly ‘contaminated’ during the rainy season… especially during monsoon in Kerala. But then, that would not only break her li’l heart if her Papa didn’t ‘believe’ her when she said there is a crocodile in the tap but also all that ‘gyan’ might even drive the little fella crazy… or maybe worse, she’d stop talking to me.

These things might seem trivial but are really important ‘coz any kind of fear or any passing thought that her dad [or for that matter mom] doesn’t trust her, would develop into major problems for the kid as he/she grows up. In any case, she’d learn about all the scientific stuff & about nature when she starts learning science in school. No point trying to teach that to a 4 yr old. But issues like fear & negative imagination can be sorted out at four –the earlier the better.

I remember I had similar issues when I was a kid. I think I saw some movie or something, I don’t remember what exactly and I developed a fear for water… creatures under water to be more precise. Even now I’m pretty fine at swimming pools or a beach but not at ponds or rivers or maybe even a dim-lit water source or any water source that’s near dense vegetation. I couldn’t look into a huge bucket of water as a kid coz I thought there was a killer whale in the bucket! Boat rides scared the hell out of me coz if I fell into the water, crocodiles would eat me! Water theme parks are still a NO-NO. Every member in my family knew swimming except me. Mom took me once to one of her school teacher’s homes –a Kovilakom (1). The thamburaatti (2) assured me that her husband is an expert & has taught many kids & grown ups swimming. She also mentioned that since they have a pond in the same compound it’d be easy for me coz I can learn swimming while my mom took lessons in Veena (3) from the thamburaatti. I hopped along with the thamburaan (4) to their private ‘royal’ pond. It was a scary place with almost no light except for the sunlight streaming in through the dense trees surrounding the pond. One part of the pond was bright coz there were no trees there but it was on the far end. The water looked awfully green –maybe greener than ever! So I asked the thamburaan why the water is green & he said that’s how it is. Of course I wasn’t old enough to know that water reflects the color of trees etc etc… so I just stood near the steps leading to the pond wondering what’s wrong with the water. The thamburaan asked me to go ahead & ‘feel’ the water, dip my feet in water until I get used to the chillness & until I get comfortable with water and then he’d start basic lessons the next day. I did as told & went & stood there… few steps down, with water almost up to my knees. It was cold, verrrrry cold & I might’ve stood there for hardly a minute looking at the sun through the branches of the trees when something touched my foot. I looked down but couldn’t see anything much. I remember seeing ripples forming in the middle of the pond [probably caused by me or a fish] and I turned & jumped back, hurting my knee on the steps. I picked myself up & ran past the thamburaan, yelling ‘Shark! Shark!’ not bothering to wait for what the thamburaan had to say. I told everyone a shark was in the pond & it almost attacked me & ‘no one’ believed me. They laughed at me saying I was such a funny kid with a wild imagination! So I grew up with the fear & never tried to get rid of it. I wouldn’t even have learnt swimming ever in my life if not for my dearest Dippy. She was going for classes & she tagged me along after a week [She tried to coax me to join saying the instructor was a hunk & if I don’t come she’d elope with him. I asked her to do that right away! On another day she casually mentioned babes in swimming suits all o’er the place & I fell for that] & pretty soon helped me semi-conquer my fear for water creatures out to eat me!

I didn’t want my little one to develop some fear that would be hard for her to erase off her mind & I also didn’t want to make her feel she was ‘lying’ about the crocodile in the tap or that she shouldn’t use her imagination. It was a tough call, but in order to make things better for a 4yr old, you gotta try & be a 4yr old yourself… think just like them & be silly if possible. I paid tribute to Steve Irwin in my mind & got up from the sofa… all set & charged up to become a Krokodeel hunter for my kiddo.

“Come, let’s go teach that Krokodeel a lesson” I said, as I picked up Amminie in my arms. “How dare he mess with my Baby Jaan!”

Amminie smiled as she held on tightly to my shirt. I could see that the tears that were almost there in her eyes vanished & now she seemed stronger & more confident coz her Papa was gonna set things right for her.

We reached the bathroom & I put Amminie down & went in.

“Papa, be careful okie?” warned Amminie before I went towards the tap.

“Yeah Sweetie! I’ll be fine… you stay outside okie?”

“Okie” she said & stepped outside and stood near the door watching me carefully.

I opened the tap & as expected it made those weird sounds.

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” screamed Amminie or rather screeched, almost bringing the house down.

I quickly closed the tap so Amminie won’t blast my ear drums.

“What’s going on Amminie?” Yelled Dipika from the kitchen.

“Nothing honey, everything’s fine” I yelled back to assure the concerned mommy so she wouldn’t leave her cooking & come running to mess things up.

Now, I had to remove the block. I looked around for something sharp to remove the filter inside the tap.

“Can u find me something that’s sharp sweetie?” I asked Amminie.

Amminie ran to her room & brought back her pencil. Nice & sharp.

“Ohh! This wont do sweetie… I think you’ll have to ask mamma for a knife or something or maybe even a nail cutter or a fork… quick!”

She ran to the kitchen & didn’t return quickly like I expected.

Instead she came with a bemused Dipika.

“Why is she asking me for a knife or something sharp Keshu?”

I looked at Amminie & she quickly had her hands tightly closing her mouth.

“What are you two up to huh?” Danger mamma asked us in her typical bossy tone.

“Well…” I knew I’d sound like I lost my bearings but I said it rather disarrayed “We’re gonna kill a crocodile!”

Dipika had the weirdest expression possible on her face.

“Ahem… hunniee… I guess you’d be safer in your kitchen… Its fine here… we got everything under control”

She handed me the knife she was holding & gave me looks that could put the sharpest knife to shame.

I heaved a sigh of relief as Dipika went back to her kitchen.

I turned to Amminie & signed to her that I need to close the door of the bathroom. Her big brown eyes looked at me as I whispered “I’ll be back” and closed the door.

Now, I had to get everything that was blocking the water flowing out from the tap. So I poked the knife into the plastic filter & plucked it out & let the water flow freely. A lot of residue went out & the water ran clear and better than normal because I had removed the filter. After I was done I simply dropped the water mug into the bucket & then dropped a few other things around & made some ‘dishoom dishyoom’ sounds.

“Papa… are you okay?” asked my angel from outside the bathroom.

“Yeah sweetie… I am”

That was enough to make my darling believe that the Krokodeel was dead & her papa was fine.

As soon as I opened the door she took a look at me. My clothes were slightly wet. She went around me to make sure I was alright.

Then she looked at the tap a little apprehensively.

“Go on… open it… I pulled the crocodile out & beat the daylight out of it… he was so scared he said he’d never bother my Amminie again & ran outta the window”

“That window?”

“Yeahhh! That’s the only way he could get out right?”

“He won’t come back, will he?”

“I don’t think so baby… unless he wants me to take him by his tail & thrash him on the ground”

“Whooaaah”. Her eyes smiled as she said that & opened the tap & watched the water flow thicker than ever.

“Okay, now don’t keep playing in water… take a quick shower & come out soon”.

I walked out to let Amminie take her shower & went straight down the apartment to give the watchman a piece of my mind. As usual he had his dumb excuses for not sending someone to clean the water tank as he had agreed the previous week. I warned him to better get someone to do it in 2hrs or better do it himself else I’m gonna come back later in a ‘different’ mood. I didn’t wait for his response coz I knew he, like most inhabitants of our apartment building feared my ‘different’ mood & would do as I said to save themselves of my wrath. The infamous ‘parking lot incident’ when I was only beginning to settle at the apartment & the likes of it over the years and being a top member of the building association & being a celebrity or whatever also helps I guess.

Whatever the reason be I walked up & into the lift up to the 7th floor feeling like I’m in 7th heaven… coz I was sure my li’l angel will never fear taking bath imagining crocodiles in the tap ever again…even if she’s alone someday… even when she grows up.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

Once again peace prevailed in my bathroom.

Jai Ho Krokodeel Baba Steve Irwin!

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1. A traditional Hindu home in Kerala with great detail to architecture & wood work & mostly has a temple & a private pond in its premises.
2. Lady of royal lineage.
3. Classical Indian string instrument.
4. Man of royal lineage.